belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my being single is dangerous.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Houston, we have a squirter
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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