I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize