Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
