he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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