My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
