I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
