Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
