I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
