I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
