This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
