But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here