apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He shit in the fireplace
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
