Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
