sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't deserve a penis
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
