How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize