sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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