Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
