I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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