woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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