you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.