I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
