i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
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The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.