I cannot find my penis.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.