please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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