Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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