Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
