Fuck appropriateness.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
