True but thats because hes a fetus.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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