how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
