i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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