i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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