did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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