In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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