is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
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