Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
