his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's blow job season.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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