i just had sex bonerless
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
