and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
