was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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