i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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