DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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