Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
