You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize