hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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