Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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