Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
