:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
