dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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