1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
