I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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