well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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