Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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