so that wasnt chicken after all
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
