My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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