There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
