She's like a pop up book from hell.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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