Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
