if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
