Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
not ubering you a puppy
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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