i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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