I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
