Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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