There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize